Tuesday, November 07, 2006

My First Blog

today, i celebrate my two-year anniversary blogging. below is an essay i wrote and posted to my first blogsite (hosted somewhere else at the time). my great disappointment that prez. bush won the election was the reason i started blogging.

here we are again, election time. i didn't want to vote but did anyway because i could mail it in. when you have politicians insulting your intelligence with ads such as "i was fat." that's from mr. bustamante, running for office here in cali. he tries to say that because he lost weight he can do the same for california, or something absurd like that. who are these ads targeting?

here's my prediction: despite the media yammering on about people wanting change, it will still be a republican congress once the votes are tallied. who doesn't want to see change? but for me, i can't tell the difference between a republican or a democrat. one is as good as the other. they're all the same. the democrats, sadly, haven't done anything to stand out. the only politician i've seen that's remotely intriguing is barak obama.

anyway, this is the one of the only times i'll ever blog about politics. after my first post in november 2004, i decided i didn't want to write about politics. i felt like i needed a year-long shower. besides, there are so many bloggers that write about politics, either left or right, and their discussions are so full of venom.

really, i don't consider myself either D or R and i think that we've been pushed to take sides, thanks in large part to our current leadership. these days, i don't think the country is as divided -- red and blue -- as we are made to believe. i think we just have a leader who is a divider not a uniter.

i still think that picking a fight in iraq was a monstrous mistake in every regard, so big that we'll not feel the full effects. future generations of the world will. here's another thing, i don't think that anyone truly believed there were WMDs in Iraq. i know everyone says they did. i think americans, still smarting over the terrorist attacks, just wanted to believe and wanted revenge, even if it was the wrong target.

americans rationalized that Iraq was A target. sadaam was a bad guy, so why not? everything got mixed up. are we fighting osama or sadaam? are they brothers? and then the prez put the fear of god in the people, who were already scared. and the people fell for it. i don't blame the prez anymore because i think he's trying his best. i don't think he's evil. he's merely a reflection of the american people.

speaking of evil reflections, what a nice coincidence ;-)that ted haggard, the leader of the evangelicals that were so influential in 2004, has been found to be a hypocrite. i remember when he condemned homosexuals and non-christians to hell on a barbara walters special. why would anyone follow a man who believed that? why would anyone follow a man?

poor guy. he's just a gay man who has tortured himself his whole life for being gay. if the planet is still around in 40 years, homosexuality will be a non issue. the funny thing is, if mr. ted had been true to who he is, he'd be a more christian human being. i don't think his outing was a coincidence. but there i go mixing religion and politics.

My First Blog, Nov. 2004:

Why am I so angry with my mother for voting for George Bush?
Why am I so disheartened that 59 million of my fellow Americans voted for

Why am I so depressed?

One of my friends sent me a consoling email: "The depression is deep and widespread," she said. Someone else I know is making black armbands.

I am not alone. I know that. But still, I’m miserable.

I honestly thought that Sen. John Kerry was going to win in a landslide. I ended all of my emails "Kerry in a landslide!" I know, many of you are laughing, thinking of me as a poor naïve liberal Democrat. (I did vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger and I’m registered as Independent).

I thought the people were going to rise up. I had such hope and faith that a new era of enlightenment was here. I imagined the look on Bush’s face when he found he was out. I pictured him having a tantrum.

I imagined the red-faced, contorted look on right wing talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, the one who my mother listens to.

I knew Kerry was a good man. I was convinced after I watched him on C-SPAN as a younger Kerry speaking out against the Vietnam War. He spoke eloquently, was enlightened and way ahead of his time. Still is.

I knew he was peace-minded. Then came the debates. I could see he wanted to make a difference. I knew he was smart.

I didn’t vote for him to vote against Bush. I thought he was the cat’s pajamas. To me, he was hope.

Today, I’m wondering how Kerry would be handling Iraq and would the Red team feel so awful with Bush out of office? Would the stock market have plunged if Kerry was elected?

I got Kerry.

I didn’t get Bush. I don’t get Bush.
I didn’t understand what he was saying. Does "freedom is on the march" actually mean "Christianity is on the march?" Do people think that God speaks to Bush?

Perhaps the biggest mystery of all: Bush won on "moral values?" I’m truly dumbfounded.

Does that mean the rest of us have no "moral values?" I have plenty.

I believe that you should help the poorest long before you help the richest. I believe we should take care of the environment even though we may not live long enough to see the results. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with two people of the same sex being in love or having a life together.

But this leads me to wonder: Are these the people that go to church, the ones that have "moral values?" Is that what they teach in church?

I don’t go to church. I don’t believe that "church" is a place. I believe everyone should be able to worship the way they choose. I believe if people are more aligned with their own faith, rather than trying to convert others, the results will be better for all.

Aren’t we all under the same umbrella?
But I guess those are different values.

I feel disconnected. But it has spurred me to try and "get it" or be lost in despair, worse yet, give in to the awful oppression that I feel.

I want to understand the Red team and what makes them tick. So if you see me at your church taking notes, be kind. Feel free to explain to me why war is okay but abortion is not. (For the record, I’m not for abortion but I am for a practical approach that would help solve the problem). Why tax breaks to the rich is okay, but breaks for the poor is not? Why forcing "democracy" and "freedom" on other countries is okay but racism, which squashes freedom and democracy, persists in the U.S.

It’s not likely that I’ll cross over to the other side to be a Bush supporter. But at least I’ll understand.

A note to the Democratic Party: I’m not interested in a candidate that would appeal to the Red team.

I’m on the Blue team now and although some people I love dearly aren’t on my team, 56 million people are, and for that I’m hopeful.